Locks of Love

So I shaved my head on Wednesday. I'm told these kind of stories are a bit depressing, so there's your warning. I, however chose not to be depressed. I had been losing "all kinds of hair" for a couple of days so I knew it was only a matter of time. I also knew that I wanted to donate my real hair to Locks of Love : www.locksoflove.org. It makes wigs for kids with cancer. I figured if I can't wear my hair, someone else can. My hair normally wouldn't be long enough if I was just cutting it, but cutting it at the scalp gave me just that chance.

So Wednesday began the process. First, and how's this for irony- I dyed my roots. I didn't want to give them my manky ass roots, so I bought my last bottle for a long time and dyed my hair. I reveled in the time I will no longer have to spend doing this my self or the money I will save by not getting it done in a salon. Then I washed it again. Who wants hair that smells like dye? I stood in the shower and ran my fingers through it, realizing I wouldn't be able to do that again for months- a year, even. There were a couple of tears. Then I focused on the no less than 4 bottles of shampoo, conditioner, leave in treatment reconditioning balm, etc.etc. that were no longer necessary. I'll just use my husband's crappy drugstore stuff on my bald head.

I have never been high maintenace. I wear my hear in ponytails, I don't wear make up a lot, I don't really tie my hair into who I am. At least I didn't think so. I've been through enough horrible haircuts (who didn't in the 80s and 90s) to realize, this too, shall pass.

I got out of the shower and blow dried my hair. Alan told me dry hair is best. I didn't just blow dry it- I straightened it, curled it, styled it... it looked good. Again, I wanted to donate some pretty ponytail to the kids. As I was running my fingers through my hair, strands were coming out in alarming numbers. Not quite clumps, but definitely more than the usual few I get with my lion's mane. At the advice of a friend, who reminded me how horrible it looks to get your haircut when you have no make up on, I did just that. You would have thought I was going to the prom, my face looked so good. The eye makeup particularly. I asked Alan for a second glass of champagne- he bought it for me, thinking I would need reinforcements. He was right, as usual. Then it was time.

Alan began by cutting my hair, like I was some Indian getting scalped- minus the machete. It made it easier to put hair into a ponytail for donation this way. We picked the right day, because Alan told me I had a couple of thin/bald patches already. I watched as he put the hunks of my hair onto a towel. I noticed how shotty the color job was. Seriously, it was like Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Hair that looked pretty good on my head looked sort of dull and pathetic on that towel. Alan was wonderful. He made jokes- made me laugh. While cutting the hair, he conveniently left the back til last. Then stood back and admired the coolest mullet ever. Seriously, Michael Bolton mullet. We talked about taking a picture of this creation, but I didn't want it passed around the web like I did this mullet on purpose.

Then began the shaving. Alan had fun with this too, I think. First there was a clippers right down the middle of the head- a reverse mohawk. We realized that the clippers weren't short enough when Alan told me my head looked like a leopard- dark spots, dyed spots...tee hee hee. So we decided to clip it shorter. As Alan was shaving, I was thinking about crying. I could feel the tears in my eyes, but then I thought, "I can't do this, my eye makeup looks fierce." Yep, another good reason for the makeup- thanks Hope. Alan told me it looked cute. I thought I looked like Sinead O'Connor with about 35 pounds. My eyes looked blue and huge- a plus. I didn't have hair to cover that still left over chin- definitely a down side. The lipstick I was wearing seemed a little much when I didn't have fabulous hair. It isn't as bad as I thought it might be. But it's not great, either.

Alan and I celebrated the evening by going on to the nicest restaurant in town. There really is on, I promise. I put on a dress (gasp) and Sally and BAM! I was ready to go in under 10 minutes. May this bald thing has it's perks. Sally looked good. Although I kept looking around thinking everyone has to know. Alan said he could barely tell. After a wonderful meal cut short by the fact I had chemo the next day, we came home. And I put Sally away and reveled in my bald head. I better get used to it.

Before After